Anonymous asked: I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
if I pay you £1 a day will you tell me 2 jokes a day forever
Anonymous asked: are you in a relationship now?
single now n 4evz
Anonymous asked: A man entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in 10 different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.
in all seriousness thank u for tellin me jokes n cheering me up I appreciate it ore than u could understand
Anonymous asked: Two fish in a tank. One says: "How do you drive this thing?"
3 weeks ago today I bought 2 fish (called william regal and borris johnson) and borris died the day after I got him the prick so this is v incesitive
ps it isnt really i lold for like 6 minutes straight go u x
I forgot how wonderful cuddles are like just lying in bed feeling somebody else’s body heat and their heart beating and just idk I just forgot how nice it is to have someone’s arms wrapped around you while you chat shit and laugh at shit and just appreciate not being alone
stupid but true man
(ps vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv drunk)
brief update on my life:
~ I’m happy with everything ~ I’m eating more food in a day than an african village eats in a year ~ My cat keeps eating my food on a sly ~ Feeling happy about myself and my body recently ~ I’m planning BIG TINGS for my birthday ~ yeah, I’m really happy right now ~ about to go eat nuggets.
That is all x x x x
hungover n tired n my bed feels waaaaay to big for just me :(:(
it hurts
knowing
that he is being loved
by someone else
that he thinks of someone else
while drifting off to sleep
that he kisses someone else
at 2 a.m.
when the lights are out
and his lips taste of vodka
and you smile
and watch him
as he moves past you
and you try, of course you do
because the best way not to get
your heart broken
is to pretend
you don’t have
one
This sounds like it could be a really fun game.
so happy bcos recently I’ve bumped into a lot of people who I haven’t seen in months (probs since last year) and they all are like ‘omg u’ve lost loadsa weight’ =gd confidence boost for meeeeeeee :-):-):-)
Meanwhile, in Minnesota.
